That’s my daughter, the slutty jailbird…

What in the world has happened to Halloween costumes?

I don’t see the tin man and the scarecrow anymore, all I see are sluts and ax murdering zombies.

Where have all the fun kid costumes gone?  Why is it just sexy tarts or killers?

I need to rant – maybe I’m showing my age, but I feel like an old man in a rocking chair, shaking my fist at Halloween this year.

Halloween is a chance to dress up and be someone else.  I realize zombies and the walking dead are hot right now, but what happened to fun Halloween?

When I was a kid and still now as an adult, I never went for scary.   I always went for funny.  I wanted to make people laugh with my outrageous outfit.   From Fat Elvis to Mrs. Doubtfire and Dog the Bounty hunter, I want people to look at my costume and laugh – that is what Halloween is to me.

I realize this is my own opinion, and people can freely choose what to dress in, but in the realm of families and Halloween costumes, let’s point and laugh, not point and scold!

This week we were shopping in the “kids” section at a local Halloween outlet store, and my family found it terrifying: the prices for me and the ‘creepy death’ everywhere for my children.   The choices for my children were frightening…

Why do boys outfits usually consist of dressing up as someone that fights and kills people?

Why are my daughter’s choices for Halloween costumes littered with over sexualized options?   When and how did leopards become naughty??

naughty leopard













Hey, costume makers – what the &%^$ is wrong with you?  Do you people have children?

Do we really need to make Disney princesses more sexy?   Oh, and FYI, my daughter doesn’t need ‘pretend’ garters on ANYTHING she wears, ever.   We don’t need a pink and white striped prison outfit with fishnet stockings, studded collar, and pink handcuffs for “Miss Behavin’!” – in KIDS SIZES!  (see photo at the top) 

I know boys will be boys but since when did our boys want to kill or slice everyone up?   When you see a Texas chainsaw massacre “Leatherface” mask in a kids size,  that is a problem.  And also, while you are at it, we don’t need machete swords with “real” blood oozing out and real knives to ‘accentuate’ our kids costumes.

It seems kids want to dress up as characters in movies they should never be allowed to watch.   I must admit I do remember a sleepover with 4 other 11 year old boys.   We rented 4 of the scariest movies ever!  We met Jason, Freddy, Michael Myers, and some killer clowns in a funhouse all in one night.  It was a horrible idea, no one slept, and I still hate clowns (but who doesn’t), but I digress.

What we need is more Woody, Buzz Lightyear, and Little Red Riding Hood (and not the slutty one either).

Menarche is getting earlier and earlier (Google it boys). We can’t really control that.  (Or can we?) Our children are growing up but what we can definitely control is what our adorable little boys and girls wear around our streets when they are begging for candy.  Say No to “Snooki” and the Jersey Shore, and hello to old friends Waldo and Popeye.

Don’t be afraid to say no to the sluts and killers“I don’t care if that is what Madison is wearing!”  You need to present other options and their benefits.   Make your own fun wholesome costumes, that let your children be someone they are not.  Keep Halloween fun and light, not macabre and trampy.   You may have missed your window for this year, but stay vigilant…

If you don’t stop it here, then what’s next?  Instead of bouncy castles and magicians, is your child going to ask for a “Pimp and Ho” birthday party?

Be strong and go with your gut!

Until next time!

transformation of kdis