To borrow from Sue Johnson’s Emotion Focused Couples Therapy work with attachment, there is a simple question being asked daily, even hourly, in all relationships, “Are you there for me? Will you come when I call?” That is what true connection is all about. I want to get you there.
If Brené Brown is right in that we can only “love another to the degree to which we love ourselves”, then we may need to open up your own schematics and have a peek. Your personal view shapes the way you give and receive love.
I think Robyn D’Angelo, an expert couples counsellor I met at a Couples Conference in LA, says it best: “When you better understand your own story, you create space and grace to be curious about your partner’s story as well.”
Being solution focused, I want to focus on the future, but one cannot ignore, and must explore our family of origin to better understand our well ingrained relationship patterns. We all have stories. Those stories shape the way we view the world and how we interact with those in it. Perhaps that is where we can begin…